Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
