Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my poor anus
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
