I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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