she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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