In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you traded sex for a burrito?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
