It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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