Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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