Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
