I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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