I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize