I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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