Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
