For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Operation Purity has been aborted
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
