don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
