i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
