Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
