You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
