dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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