left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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