shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
