ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
