you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
