Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
