remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
