omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
