Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
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i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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