Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
