I CAN MOONWALK!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i dont even know how to be here
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
