Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex. http://tfl.nu/mdk4
  Replies (14) Good night (4985) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware. http://tfl.nu/9chk
  Replies (5) Good night (4539) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow. http://tfl.nu/8b4m
  Replies (13) Good night (8917) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas? http://tfl.nu/mq53
  Replies (15) Good night (6367) Bad night (1399)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): He was like a foghorn with a huge penis. http://tfl.nu/5kl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1832) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad. http://tfl.nu/2wvl
  Replies (20) Good night (1776) Bad night (5238)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3. http://tfl.nu/3wgo
  Replies (4) Good night (2189) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated. http://tfl.nu/ajsd
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/jwe6
  Replies (8) Good night (1143) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer" http://tfl.nu/we03
  Replies (5) Good night (1355) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night. http://tfl.nu/84fm
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less. http://tfl.nu/jxdo
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower.. http://tfl.nu/ofzf
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state. http://tfl.nu/jtht
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (177)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation. http://tfl.nu/zjsi
  Replies (1) Good night (354) Bad night (167)

Randomize