I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i think i just lost a toe
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