Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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  (253): is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator? http://tfl.nu/votk
  Replies (50) Good night (1765) Bad night (8850)
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  (916): View more from California

  Michael Bay diarrhea

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  (916): Michael Bay diarrhea http://tfl.nu/1hpz
  Replies (25) Good night (753) Bad night (3989)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.

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  (248): going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school. http://tfl.nu/hpld
  Replies (30) Good night (6730) Bad night (1364)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.

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  (610): i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub. http://tfl.nu/fmmx
  Replies (33) Good night (1549) Bad night (6097)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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  (540): Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft. http://tfl.nu/aaf2
  Replies (3) Good night (3170) Bad night (729)
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  (714): View more from California

  Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.

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  (714): Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare. http://tfl.nu/8fck
  Replies (1) Good night (1357) Bad night (616)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?

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  (201): Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/of56
  Replies (30) Good night (7172) Bad night (980)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.

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  (210): the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body. http://tfl.nu/1j67
  Replies (6) Good night (1908) Bad night (607)
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  (415): View more from California

  Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift

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  (415): Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift http://tfl.nu/8l3h
  Replies (8) Good night (1271) Bad night (828)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing

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  (519): Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing http://tfl.nu/fucl
  Replies (4) Good night (585) Bad night (2153)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.

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  (612): Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey. http://tfl.nu/j7hl
  Replies (7) Good night (488) Bad night (766)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us

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  (973): Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us http://tfl.nu/2son
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck

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  (804): he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck http://tfl.nu/vp9z
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...

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  (606): Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ... http://tfl.nu/m8gv
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (215)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  That's a really terrible idea.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input

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  (803): That's a really terrible idea. (734): Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input http://tfl.nu/jp2c
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (139)

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