Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Tell her she can't have a vagina

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  (517): Tell her she can't have a vagina http://tfl.nu/krch
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (675)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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  (913): Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy. (1-913): You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you. http://tfl.nu/j71x
  Replies (26) Good night (2531) Bad night (621)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab

  (253): View more from Washington

  I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.

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  (253): Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab (253): I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea. http://tfl.nu/y0mn
  Replies (3) Good night (2430) Bad night (656)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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  (434): I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it. http://tfl.nu/sxq7
  Replies (9) Good night (1139) Bad night (3717)
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  (707): View more from California

  Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.

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  (707): Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me. http://tfl.nu/6om9
  Replies (14) Good night (3760) Bad night (1105)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".

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  (210): This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic". http://tfl.nu/3wpo
  Replies (9) Good night (1041) Bad night (3389)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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  (702): She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note. http://tfl.nu/7aam
  Replies (9) Good night (4754) Bad night (844)
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  (925): View more from California

  she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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  (925): she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob" http://tfl.nu/t96e
  Replies (15) Good night (4612) Bad night (1012)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.

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  (303): He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts. http://tfl.nu/jof7
  Replies (8) Good night (1112) Bad night (1830)
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  (631): View more from New York

  using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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  (631): using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here. http://tfl.nu/lsdl
  Replies (5) Good night (2001) Bad night (722)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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  (615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj
  Replies (8) Good night (3718) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.

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  (507): Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up. http://tfl.nu/yb0n
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (2146)
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  (916): View more from California

  I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.

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  (916): I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot. http://tfl.nu/9evn
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (448)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.

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  (256): You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No. http://tfl.nu/binp
  Replies (11) Good night (762) Bad night (385)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug

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  (248): My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug http://tfl.nu/ts87
  Replies (4) Good night (279) Bad night (230)

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