I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.