Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history

Fav 19 1499 2893
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.

Fav 11 3862 1469
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.

Fav 35 1175 6824
share tweet
(864): View more from South Carolina

U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"

Fav 14 5551 1360
share tweet
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

Fav 14 6513 1244
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

I love how my cats smell like pot.

Fav 12 4887 1685
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high

Fav 16 4966 2404
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.

Fav 4 1030 594
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me

Fav 2 131 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT