Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You're a waste of cheezeits
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"