and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize