I puked a lego.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
