this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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