yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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