I cockslap morals
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
