Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
