Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
