like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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