i jhust puked up my retainher.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
