census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're a waste of cheezeits
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
