I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize