She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
