Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
