I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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