I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
