i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
