wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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