There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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