thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I understand Curling. That high.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
