it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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