every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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