i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
