I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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