so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
