Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
