Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My vagina just clenched in fear
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