im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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