none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize